I have a friend from before kindergarten we call each other 'sis' and talk as often as our busy lives allow, which lately has been about once every 6-8 months. She shocked me by heading to my area on vacation and she wanted to know if she could stop by...are you kidding...YES!!! I haven't seen her in years.
To say that my parents didn't approve of Sis as we were growing up is an understatement, in spite of that we found ways to keep in touch, mostly thanks to her mom. We've had our fights and lost touch for a while [busy lives, different states] but we always found each other again and we pick up right where we left off. Do I like everything about Sis? No, but there are many things that I do admire about her, and they far out weigh the negative. I'm sure she feels the same way about me. I know it's a shock but I'm not perfect...but let's keep that just between us friends.
This brings me to todays musings.
I wonder which of Bean's friends is going to be 'the one' she connects with and stays in touch with for the rest of her life. Which of her friends is going to look at her faults, weigh them against her assets and love her just like she is?
Is it going to be the clingy girl who asks to stay overnight at our house only to spend the evening pestering me instead of playing with Bean? Or is it going to be the whiney one, who finds fault with everyone and everything? Maybe it'll be her cousin Doc, who is a handful now, I can't wait to see what puberty does to him. Then there's the friend who's adopted, because of her Bean is now considering marriage as a future option. Bean's getting married and adopting potty-trained kids so she doesn't have to bring them to my house everytime they need a diaper change. Fine by me at least with this friend I might get to be a grandma.
Girls have best friends, they'll fight, then they're not friends anymore, finally on day two [maybe three] they're best friends again. Bean has gone through this with friends and I try not to get involved or take sides, which goes against a mothers instinct... protect your young from both physical and emotional harm. I did make an acception to this 'rule' when a little girl told Bean that she couldn't have more then one friend...Bullsh*t! I explained to Bean that "The one friend you aren't allowed to have is the one that tries to keep you all to themselves. There are going to be some really sad or scary times in your life and you're going to need as many friends as you can gather. If you only have one friend and they can't [or won't] be there for you, you need to have an extra [or ten]."
When Sis came to visit I was so excited to see her I forgot I'd gained weight and gotten wrinkles. For just a little while, for the first time in years, I was able to sit with a friend who didn't judge me on the outside because they knew my inside so well. We talked of our families, our health and our career choices...no pressure to have done well or stayed thin...no desire to impress with makeup and fancy clothes...just two people, one short, one tall, one plump, one thin...both equal in the eyes of the other. Thanks Sis. Love Ya.
My front porch seems terribly empty now.

Dear God, may you bless my daughter with a friend such as this and may you bless anyone who asks with someone to lean on. Amen T.